What does it cost to keep up appearances when a family is quietly breaking apart inside?
In GYOPO, Ben Kim delivers a fiercely honest, deeply moving memoir that shatters the polished facade of the traditional Korean immigrant family to reveal the raw struggles and pain that can lie beneath.
Born in Toronto just a year after his parents fled the poverty of post-war Korea, Ben grew up trapped between two worlds. Outside the house, he was a Canadian kid trying to fit in. Inside, he was the only son in a household governed by suffocating cultural expectations, unspoken trauma, and a desperate obsession with “saving face.”
His father carried invisible wounds that manifested as misery and unpredictable anger; his mother endured decades of quiet self-sacrifice to preserve the image of an ideal, unbroken family. Bound by a language barrier that capped their emotional vocabulary at a kindergarten level, Ben grew up feeling less like a nurtured child and more like an asset expected to prove his worth.
It took decades of heartache—including a rift that severed ties for twenty-five years—for Ben to see that protecting appearances was preventing true healing. Determined to break the cycle, he took a sabbatical to move to Seoul, deepen his Korean, and risk everything to foster understanding before it was too late.
More than an immigrant story, GYOPO is a universal exploration of generational trauma, the burden of filial duty, and the complicated realities of forgiveness. With grace and candor, it is a powerful story of resilience, the messy complexity of love, and the freedom of speaking your truth.
A person of Korean heritage living outside Korea.
Presented in English and Korean throughout — two languages, side by side, like the two worlds it describes.
All worldwide proceeds from the sale of this book support a scholarship fund for financially disadvantaged university students.
Ben Kim is a Canadian-born Korean founder and author whose writing reaches tens of thousands of readers worldwide. He lives in Ontario, Canada, with his wife, Margaret, and their two sons, Joshua and Noah.